How many people can say that and truly mean it?
I do not want what I haven’t got (yeah so I stole it off Sinead).
As my boys get older and their wants, not needs, become greater, it has lead me to think about the world that my children are growing up in. The world of want. Seems everyone wants more.
Something bigger.
Something better.
Something faster.
Something stronger.
Something prettier.
Something more than what they have.
Why are we never satisfied?
When my oldest was around seven he asked for a Nintendo system, a few years later he wanted a Nintendo 64, after that came the Gameboys, then the Game Cube, the DS, Sega, the Wii, an iPod, and just this past Christmas he got the iPod Touch. Each year they want something bigger and better than the year before. Now his birthday is approaching and he is asking for some other electronic device that I haven’t even heard of. I am really torn with the idea of purchasing yet another item that will just be used for a short time, then tossed to the side when the next new and improved model comes along. I’m not saying cancel the party and bring back all the gifts. It’s still a time to celebrate, but I’m starting to feel like he has grown so accustomed to getting “things” that it’s just part of everyday normal life, second nature to him. He asks, and he receives, but does he truly understand how fortunate he is to have what he does? I’m struggling with what I am showing him by buying more and more for him. What I’m really saying is, never be satisfied with what you have. Even though you have a lot of “stuff” there’s still more and more stuff to be had.
What a terrible thing to teach him.
Are we raising a generation of kids who just expect things? Like it’s there right and privilege to get what they ask for all the time?
So why do I keep doing it? Granted, I can come up with answers. It’s because I love him and want him to be happy. I want him to fit in and have the stuff that all the other kids have. It makes me feel good when I see him happy. I’m fortunate enough that I have the means to buy the things he wants. Those are some of the answers, but are they right answers? Is the basic human instinct of greed just so great that I can’t bring myself to say no? Am I helping him prepare for adulthood by letting him think that you can pretty much get whatever you want as long as you behave well and wait for your birthday or a major holiday? I think I am. I think that the materialistic propaganda that fills our every waking moment on TV and in magazines and newspapers has seeped so far into our heads that now we just think it’s normal to give and give and give and never step back and say….enough. It’s enough.
I’m slowly trying to simplify my life. Stepping back and looking at the big picture and being content with what I have now. My house that’s a little too small is a mansion to the person who is homeless. My small kitchen that I would love to expand is enormous to the person who cooks their meals over a hot plate; my back yard that I’m constantly landscaping would be a blessing to someone who doesn’t have a quiet place to get away from it all or green grass to squish between their toes.
I’m trying to want less and just be happy and grateful for what I have. I have a loving husband, great kids, a loyal family, the best friends anyone could ask for and peace of mind. All the things money can never buy. All the things that fill me up with contentment and love and make me step back and say, “I don’t really need more that what I have”. I may want it, but I don’t really need it.
This is the message and mantra I want to instill in my children:
A simple life is a fulfilled life.
I think I’ll have to change my tune to “You can’t always get what you want”.
I don't normally leave a comment- but I often love your recipes....
ReplyDeleteI have two girls (3&6) and what you wrote is always on my mind. Long story short (put hubby/architect thru school, laid off last year- still no job) my husband and I have struggled financially most of our marrigae (11yrs), and sometimes I get so tired of watching the bank acount that I wish for so much more than it seems we will ever have. But I always come back to being happy with a simple life- even if I had all the money I wanted, I wouldn't give my girls whatever they wanted- like you said, it's just not good for them. I really appreciate your honesty- and I wish you the best of luck in your lifes journey!
Thanks for all the great recipes!
So true! It feels to me as though there is a great awakening to this simple truth. I have told my children from their earliest days that happiness is wanting what you have. I hear them repeat it sometimes, and I allow myself just a moment of thinking, "Mothers do make a difference." At least we can all keep trying.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog.
Hi Lisa- just stopping by to see what I may have left out of my pulled pork recipe that is cooking in the dutch oven - good stuff!! I read your blog and had to comment. I raised my son alone from 2yrs old, until I remarried when he was 8. We were sooooo broke. Our entertainment was hikes in the mountains, a trip to the sands to surf, scouring the desert for hidden artifacts, and occassionally a Friday night rented movie and pizza. Noah rarely got a new toy, and he certainly was not lavished with gifts. His few prized possessions were neatly tucked away with very little prodding to do so. Along came his sister after my second marriage, who was lucky to be born into a comfortable financial situation, older parents - and two of them until she was 8. What a difference! Toys were everywhere and trips to Walmart brought new stuff home daily. My girl thought the world was hers for the asking- and ASK she did. If I had to compare the two childhoods, I would err to the side of Noah's. It was time spent with one another, instead of money spent on another thing. Now, his sister and I are alone, and face financial struggles. Hailey doesn't always like it, but she often cannot have what she asks for. Funny thing- she would rather take a bike ride together, or go for a walk with the dog than shop on most occasions. That is - if there is not a SALE!! Happy cooking-keep up the good blogs. You are a talented writer, photographer, and a wonderful cook! Love, Pam
ReplyDeleteIn today's world, it's alot of marketing and consuming. My son is the same and his grandmother gives him everything he wants. I can't afford it, I am there to encourage him in school. Myself, I apply simple abondance. I appreciate everything I have.
ReplyDeleteReally great post! I'm still living in my "starter" home 17 years later and cook in a galley kitchen. But over the years I've come to love our little house because so many good memories have happened here.
ReplyDeleteWe went through the same thing with our son (our youngest of four) - and put the brakes on it a few years ago with real price tags. As in we can spent $300 on Christmas and $75 on birthdays. That's the budget, so make sure your requests fit it.
The funny thing is, he wasn't upset at all. He seemed to get it.
It really is the memories and not the stuff that counts.
Lisa,
ReplyDeleteYou are a great writer. Thought provoking and inspiring piece.....
Eva
I remember when I was a child and we had a limited amount of toys... and we were so happy!
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. My daughter looks around and sees that all of her friends are receiving cars from their parents and feels somewhat "hard-done-by". I've explained that we refuse to rob her of the utter joy and self-satisfaction of EARNING her car on her own. Things that are earned are appreciated; things that are handed to us are just things that are tossed away when the next new thing comes along.
ReplyDelete