Thursday, March 13, 2008

You must be this tall.

9 times out of 10 I spend my lunch hour running errands. It's amazing what I can get done in an hour sometimes.

Today at lunch I visited a new grocery store that just opened up a few weeks ago (Aldi, I'm not crazy about it). It's the kind of store where you need to put a quarter in the carriage to use it. Yes we call them carriages in RI. John calls them buggys and sometimes carts. We like carriages. So I am coming out of the store and I hear an elderly couple near me saying that they don't have a quarter. I put the few things I bought in the back of my car and walked over to the woman.

Me: "Ma'am you can have my carriage"

Woman: "Oh wait my husband is in the car looking for a quarter"

Me: "That's ok, you can just have it"

Woman: "But wait, he's still looking for a quarter"

Me: "No really it's ok"

Woman: "Thank you sweetheart"

So I am walking back to my car and I hear her call to her husband that she's got a carriage, she didn't say buggy or cart, she said carriage cause she's a Rhode Islander like the rest of us dammit.

He says to her "Where'd you get that?" and her reply was:

"That nice little girl there gave it to me".

Little girl? LITTLE GIRL??? Now I know I'm short, and that she was fairly elderly, but I don't look like no little girl. Geesh. I didn't know if I should be offended or take it as a compliment?

John takes great pleasure in listening to all my antics. His favorite was one of my trips to CVS (local drug store).

So I buy something at CVS and I go to walk out the door. Now you know how they have those big column things that will beep when you walk out with something that has the beepy strip on it? I hope you are all keeping up with my technical lingo.

Well I went to walk out and the door wouldn't open. So I backed up and I tried again. Nothing. Third time. Nadda. Now one of the cashiers sees me and comes over to help me. He's a young kid, maybe 17. He walks through the columns and the doors opens. He walks back and tell me to try again. Again, nothing, those doors won't open. So now the manager comes over and he walks through and they open again. Now I just want to get out of the store but they both seems dead set on finding out why they won't open for me. So the manger walks through them with me and....they open. He asks me if I will try one more time, and of course being the tolerate person I am (shut up hunny), I walk though yet again and...you guessed it, they aint' budgin'.

The manager says something to the kid, they look to see what I bought, and then he looks at me and says:

"Umm Ma'am we think your too short to activate the doors".

What??? Now hold on, I have been to CVS many, many times in my life and never have I been too short to activate the door. I am 5 feet tall. 60 inches to be exact. I know I'm no giant, but there are millions of people shorter than me. Trillions maybe (shut up again hunny). That is just plain nuts. How do children activate the door then I asked him? Oh Mr. 5 foot 10 manager can't answer that then can he? Can he?? Well he tried to answer it, but his answer wasn't any good! He tells me that maybe the doors open when I don't have the magnetic whatamacallit on any items, but once I have one of those thingamabobs on something I purchased I'm not activating the doo hickey. I beg to differ sir. I think it was all total BS. I finally had them "walk" me out of the store so I could get the hell outta there.

I get home and I tell John about what had just happened and does he say "Oh hunny I'm so sorry that must have been so embarrassing for you?" Does he run to get me a cup of tea to comfort me? Does he offer to rub my feet to make me feel better? Does he? Hell no, he laughs hysterically. Knee slappin' belly laughs. Then he immediately gets on the phone and calls my in-laws and my friends to tell them the story with great delight. Then I have listen to their belly laughs that are loud enough for me hear without him even taking the phone from his ear.

Nice. Very nice.

I will have you all know that I have been to CVS many times since that incident and I have never had a problem getting out.
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