Friday, January 21, 2011

What did the Boomtown Rats say?

Storm 19

I don't like Mondays. Well I have another line to add.

I don't like JANUARY!

Do you have a month that always seems to drag you down? A month where everything seems to go wrong? A month where you are counting the days until it’s over?

In years past, that month was February for me. I say was because I am slowly beginning to dislike January.

I don’t dislike January for the reasons that most people dislike it…the snow, the cold the weather, the dark mornings, the bitter cold nights. I can deal with all of that. I love the snow, the cold doesn’t bother me so much and I can bare dark morning. There always seems to be a month that just kicks your ass and this year that is January for me.

I don’t like to complain….but here I go. This month has brought me medical flare-ups. I have a disease (that I haven’t talked about here, and probably never will) that can cause lots of pain, and when I am in the middle of a flare-up, its just sucks.

I lost my hot water for 2 days and then found out that I needed a plumber to fix the faucets in my bathroom sink and tub.

My son is struggling in English. This means a conference with guidance and his teachers. I’m worried for him. They want to move him to a collaborative class. He loves his teacher. He does not want to change classes.

One of my closest friends is losing his Dad. I listened to him sob in pain, the kind of pain that comes from deep inside you. It broke my heart into pieces.

John went to work this morning, tried parking in Providence, where on a sunny day that is a challenge, and his truck was towed. I can only imagine how much this is going to cost.

Then there was lots of other stupid stuff, trivial little things that normally I could just brush off and move on from. All those things are just adding up, contributing to this shitty month. I’m feeling it from every little corner.

Dare I say I’m burnt out? Me, the person who never stops, who is usually always in a pretty happy mood, who tries to see the good and hopefulness in every day, yes, even I get to my breaking point and then I feel like I’m letting everyone down cause people are so shocked when I’m not “me”, like I’m never allowed to feel a little down.

It’s in times like this that I find my solace in baking. Standing in my kitchen with my mixing bowls, surrounded by sugar, butter and flour. It’s my therapy. I’m lost for a little bit and big bad January can’t touch me for awhile. It’s my happy place.

So another recipe will be coming tomorrow and the end of January is near. My Mom’s birthday is coming up, so there is one reason in January that can still make me smile.

Sorry for the bummer of a post. It’s not always lollipops and gumballs here. Just thought you should know. Here’s hoping February is filled with everything good that January wasn’t, oh and chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate.


That can never hurt.
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