Happy 13th Birthday Jesse

I have been pouring over old photos albums for over a week now. Looking back at this tiny little blonde headed baby, my curly topped toddler, Thomas the Tank Engine obsessed pre-schooler, doodler extraordinaire, book worm, big brother, child who put absolutely everything in his mouth, edible or not, first born son, Jesse.

My baby boy is turning 13 today. I can hardly believe that the tiny bundle I held in my arms well over a decade ago is now officially a teenager. I am watching him change right before my very eyes, and I have to say.....I really don't like it one bit. Since Jesse and Evan passed the toddler stage, I have always joked with them and pushed down on their heads saying "I'm pushing you back down so you don't grow up, I want you to stay little and never leave me". It was always a joke but part of me means it. I am happy that Jess is entering a new stage in his life, but sad that things are changing and that each year he grows more and more independent and needs me just a little less and less.

He is now into all the bands that I grew up listening to. He has a “collection” of Pink Floyd t-shirts. Seeing him pick out a Beatles shirt a few months ago was so unreal for me. He grew up listening to the Beatles & John Lennon. I would rock him to sleep and sing Beautiful Boy to him. At the end of the song when John Lennon whispers “Goodnight Sean, see you in the morning”. Jess would make me say “Goodnight Jess, see you in the morning”.

I remember he and I laying in my giant water bed when he was about 5 years old. His favorite song was Two of Us by the Beatles. I would click out the melody on the edge of the wooden rail on the bed while we sang. He wanted to memorize all the lyrics so we would lay in bed and sing it over and over, starting and stopping when he would miss one of the lyrics. “Do it over Mama, from the beginning” he would say, and we would. Every time I hear that song I remember me and Jess cuddled up under a big blanket, with John and Paul ringing in our ears.

My sweet little boy, who his teachers nicknamed "the love bug", who would brush my hair for a quarter, and gave me sticky kisses and the best hugs in the world is turning 13...I can hardly believe it. Slow down years, you're moving way to fast for me.