Monday, March 4, 2013

3 Months

Moose bw

his tattered bunny still sits on my bureau

don’t think I will ever be able to bring myself to part with it

I walk by and smell it from time to time

breathing the last bits of him in.

the big basket on top of the armoire that is filled with his brushes, bandanas and grooming items has sat untouched.

can’t bare it just yet

losing all the little pieces of his life hurts

there are still mornings when my foot touches the bedroom floor and I expect to feel his fuzzy coat between my toes

hear his snoring

call out his name

never has the house felt so empty when I am alone in it

no clicking toe nails on the hardwoods

no dog beds to trip over

no water dish to fill

the ride home every single night is tearful

he’s not there to run down the driveway to meet me

to lay beside me cuddled under blankets

to walk in the woods

to cheer my sadness

my constant companion gone

my heart still very broken

23 comments:

Annette said...

That was lovely and i will feel the same way the day i lose my dog :-( Please let there be a dog heaven.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

The photo is gorgeous and I am sure will be in your heart forever.. Losing a friend like that is heart wrenching... Your words had me in tears... I know exactly what u are feeling... I too lost a fur friend years ago... ((HUGS))

Jennifer said...

I am so sorry friend. True a beautiful photo.

Hold onto that bunny for as long as you need too.

Amy said...

((((HUGS)))))

Tina said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is just like losing a family member. Our Bobbie dog has been gone for three years now and we still feel her loss and talk about her every day when we go on walks, sit down to eat, or go somewhere in the car. My husband says "No" to another dog because it is so very painful when they leave. Your photo is just beautiful. You are in my thoughts.

Bev said...

I understand and loved this beautiful post. Our Duncan has been gone for nine years and I still cannot talk about him without crying. We adopted our Bella and Dora shortly after he passed and even though we love them dearly, there is never any "replacing" those we love.

Christy said...

I know just how you feel. We lost Teke Dec 18th ...after 12 years with him, I wonder how my life will ever be the same without him in it. And I wonder if my heart will ever sing again. The pain eases and the tears fall less often but the empty space in my heart lingers. I wish we could help each other...may it just be a comfort to you to know that I know exactly what you are feeling and feel the loss right along with you. My thoughts are with you.

Lisa Ash said...

I love you. x

Anonymous said...

I know too well the wrenching pain of losing a furbaby and I feel your pain. I am so sorry. We lost our little Shadow ( the best boy ever ) in 2002, still dogless as I refused to go through it again. We adopted 2 kittens that year, love them as much. When Sammy passed away from stomach cancer at only 9, I was a mess. It gets better, we have kept items from all our pets and depending on my mood they can be a comfort. Take care, thinking of you.
Libby

Anonymous said...

Thank you for opening your heart and sharing your pain with strangers. There is true beauty and a strength in your words. Blessed be dear heart.

Sangeeta said...

Do you know, Lisa, we had two dogs - Lipsi and Danny. Lipsi stayed with us for 17 years and Danny 15 years. we lost them 3 years ago. And yet, the pain remains the same. Sis and I got married and left the house. But even now, when we call up our mom our first question is how is Lipsi and Dan? Mom still involuntarily keeps aside food for them. Sis and I have decided not to think of them as dead, we talk about them as if they are alive and happy at home. Our husbands find this quite dysfunctional, but it makes us happy. Just felt like sharing. Have a nice day.

Love,
Sangeeta

Sherri said...

I know your loss - Our precious girl had a stroke last Sunday in the very early am & had to take her to the vet & have her put down. I feel so terrible, just wondering if we could not have done more to help her but she lost complete control of her limbs.. This is the 2nd dog in 14 months - Our male had congestive heart failure & his blood pressure was so bad when I took him in, they had a terrible time, just finding a vein.. This happens when you have 3 precious babies all the same age.. Remember you gave the best of everything that you could - & now he runs free with my babies in puppy heaven

Allison, thunder bay, ontario canada said...

I am still missing my dog gordy too....however my new pup jaxon fills that emptyness..not replaces gordy but my new boy loves his mama and i love him.there is nothing wrong with getting another pet..when the time is right..it helped me." ONCE YOU HAVE HAD A WONDERFUL DOG, A LIFE WITHOUT ONE, IS LIFE DIMINISHED." take care lisa.

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Anonymous said...

Aww, Lisa! I still think of you often! I remember reading your post about losing your sweet friend! They are our family. My heart hurts for you. Your words are a beautiful tribute to Moose. Bless you!

Laurie said...

I know this deep love, and the loss as well. Wishing you moments of peace in the coming months. So many lovely memories, to hold on to.

Flat Creek Farm said...

I am so sorry, Lisa. I know your pain all too well. This was beautifully written and what a gorgeous baby ♥ Hugs! -Tammy

Anonymous said...

My sweet boy is in liver failure.. His vet says his time is very short... Any day now... I've not yet known the loss of a furry companion as he is my first and only... I can only hope time will ease the pain of his loss.. Still surreal.. The time we're given could never be enough..

Gretchen said...

So sorry for your loss. We lost our cat 15 months ago after a wonderful 14 years together. I understand your sadness.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry!

emilee said...

this poem helped me when i lost my beautiful fur-baby bella a few years back. i hope it brings you comfort as well.

When I am gone, release me, let me go-
I have so many things to see and do.
You must not tie yourself to me with tears,
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you have shown.
But now it is time I traveled alone.
So grieve awhile for me if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust,
It is only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart,
I will not be far away, for life goes on,
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can not see or touch me, I will be near.
And if you listen with your heart, you will hear
All my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I will greet you with a smile and "Welcome Home".

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. Lost my best friend(a lab german shepard mix) almost 4 months ago
and i still miss her every day. I'm sitting here crying as I write this. I am just glad to know that I am not alone in missing my dog after so long. I would do anything to have her hair and muddy prints all over my kitchen floor again. Thanks so much for such a lovely post.

Unknown said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog, Sam on December 22, 2012. He was playing in the snow and collapsed and died. A very hard time for myself, my husband & my 2 young daughters. I think of him every day and cry. We had presents for him under the Christmas tree. They have remained wrapped. It is very hard to lose a pet. I will cherish his life and the memories & love he gave me, always.